860.443.3600

Funeral Services FAQ

Helping Families Of Southeastern CT With Funeral Planning Services Since 1950


 

Q: What To Do When Death Occurs?

A: When death occurs and the proper authorities have been notified, the decision of how the remains should be laid to rest needs to be made. If a loved one has opted to preplan his or her funeral, then you should contact the funeral home and have their wishes carried out. If no preparation has taken place, then there are several options that will need to be considered such as where and how the remains are handled and what type of service is desired. Outlining what is important to you or what your family has traditionally done is a good way to help with your decision. It is not legally necessary to use the service of any outside resources such as funeral home or cemetery, however, for practice reasons most people opt to. In most cases, the funeral director should be able to help with the preparation of the body, aiding in the services, filing the death certificates and putting the notices in the newspaper. Because several different options and services are available, it is wise to get price quotes. Price quotations can be given over the phone by law. It may also be wise to talk with someone who is not as personally involved with the deceased to help you decide on the arrangements. For more information, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Burial Out Of State

A: Many people that have relocated from their hometown wish to be returned there for burial in the family plot or in another sentimental location. There are different options available to the families that choose to carry out these wishes. Visitation and services can be hosted locally, with the body then transferred to its final resting place, or the family may prefer to go directly to the burial location for the visitation, services and burial. A local funeral director will be able to make all the necessary arrangements and he or she can contact the appropriate individuals at the burial location to ensure that everything is being taken care of properly. The funeral director should also be able to handle any necessary paperwork on behalf of the deceased family. In addition, the funeral director may be able to assist family members with their travel arrangements, which can often result in a savings in cost. Be sure to ask a funeral home what type of services they offer for an out of state burial and find out what exactly will be handled by the funeral home and if any extra charges will need to be made. For more information, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Why Do Embalming?

A: The cells of the human body begin decomposition immediately after death. Embalming is the process of sanitizing and chemically treating the body of the deceased. This process prevents decomposition for a period of time which is often necessary to allow family members time to gather for funeral services. Embalming is also a step in the process of preparing the body of the deceased for viewing. When there is to be a viewing of the body, either public or by the family, embalming restores a more healthful physical appearance. This preparation helps modify and remove signs of accidents or disease, and can provide survivors a more acceptable memory of the deceased. For more information, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: What Do Funeral Directors Do?

A: The primary role of a funeral director is to assist and serve people experiencing the death of a loved one. Usually this is immediately after the death has occurred, but increasingly it involves planning ahead of the time of need. The funeral director relieves the family of many details. The director transports the body to the funeral home, arranges for the wake and gets information to the proper authorities for the death certificate. The funeral director places obituary notices in newspaper and helps fill out claim forms for Social Security survivor’s benefits, Veterans benefits, and life insurance. He or she also secures the location for the funeral and arranges for someone to officiate the service. On the day of the funeral, the director takes care of transportation and other logistics. The funeral director is also responsible for preparing the body of the deceased for the service and making certain that its presentation fulfills the wishes of the family. In all of these activities, the funeral director is the primary organizer and counselor to the survivors of the deceased.For more information, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: About Caskets

A: Caskets are generally used for visitation and funeral services. They may be made of wood or metal and are available in a wide range of styles and prices. Caskets made of wood are usually constructed of mahogany, walnut, cherry, maple or oak. They are distinguished by the choice of finish, styling, and fabric that is used to line the casket. The cost of hardwood caskets varies according to the type and thickness of the wood, the cloth selected for the interior, and the details of the craftsmanship. Metal caskets are usually made from bronze, copper, or steel. The price difference between metal caskets is determined by the thickness of the metal, and the type of cloth selected to line the interior. For more information about caskets, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Family-Owned Funeral Homes

A: Independent or family-owned funeral homes have certain advantages over the larger commercial chains. Because family-owned funeral homes are usually smaller, they tend to be able to offer more personalized services, and they are often very familiar with the community’s churches and cemeteries. In addition, many family-owned funeral homes offer complete services, a functioning advisor, administrator, supporter, and caregiver. Indeed, the owners of many independent funeral homes are often personally involved with the various aspects of the customer’s services. All of this can help result in another often seen advantage of family-owned funeral homes: lower cost. The knowledge and flexibility of these independent funeral homes can often allow them to offer lower costs to their customers. Finally, in many cases the people in a community already know the family that runs an independent funeral home. These people often find it more comforting to let a familiar, community facility handle their funeral needs. For more information on family-owned funeral homes, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Costs Of Funeral Services

A: Most funeral homes offer funerals ranging from simple to elaborate with pricing to match. Often, there is a flat fee that may include the coffin, preparation of the body for burial, and procedures such as filing the death certificate and putting notices in the newspaper. You may obtain an itemized list of what the package includes to find out which costs extra and what other details you must take care of yourself. Funeral costs can generally be put into four categories: the merchandise purchased for the funeral, such as caskets and memorial folders; the professional services of the funeral director, who handles the details of the funeral services; the use of the funeral home, equipment, and staff; and finally, the transportation required for the funeral. It is important to realize that within each of these categories, there are choices you may make based on the deceased wishes for the funeral and your budget. Because the costs involved with funerals change over time, it is best to contact a funeral home to discuss options and prices with them. The funeral home can provide you with their current general price list, which should itemize the costs associated with funerals. For more information on the costs of funeral services, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Traditional Funeral Services

A: A traditional funeral service is a type of service that a particular family, ethnic, or religious group has established as being compatible with its beliefs and traditions. And with most of these groups, a traditional funeral service includes several common elements. A gathering of family and community is held at a church or funeral home, most often with the casketed body present. The casket may be open or closed, and there is generally a defined order of service. The service is often followed by the burial, but in some traditions, maybe followed by cremation. The service is normally organized by custom, tradition, or religious law to provide structure for the mourning and grief process, and speaks about the death and loss. The traditional service usually has a time limit, but is also flexible to meet the individual needs of the survivors. Traditional services are group-centered, with family, friends, and members of the community of the deceased invited to participate. A wide range of services, from simple to elaborate, are available. Regardless of the type of funeral service, acknowledging the death of a loved one can be important to the future adjustment of the survivors. For more information on traditional services, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: What Is A Funeral?

A: A funeral is a gathering of family and friends who come together to honor the memory of a loved one who has died. Funerals provide an important rite of passage. Similar to rituals which mark other transitions in life—such as baptisms, graduations, and weddings—funerals provide a time for family and friends to celebrate the life of the loved one and share their feelings concerning the loss of this person in their lives. Coming together like this helps people accept the death, which is a critical part of adjusting to the loss. Funerals can be as unique as the people planning them. While they are often held at churches, synagogues, or funeral homes, they may be held in any location requested by the family. Funerals that remember the loved one in personal ways can be very healing. We all carry memories and it is helpful to share these memories through readings, music, or other forms. Funerals are an important ritual in our lives. They affirm our basic beliefs about life and death, and help us through our loss. If you wish to talk with someone about funerals, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Is There A Difference In Funeral Homes?

A: The services provided by funeral homes will vary slightly from one to another. The facilities associated with funeral homes may offer different burial options such as traditional cemeteries or memorial parks and gardens. Pre-arrangement services are available through most funeral home facilities, but will very in detail and price structure. Pre-arrangement is a good way to familiarize yourself with a particular funeral home, the services it offers, and its facilities and staff. Most funeral homes provide the services of an experienced funeral director who will make arrangements for the funeral, file documents pertaining to the deceased, and assist survivors in selecting burial options that may not have been pre-arranged. Some funeral homes even offer support groups and special programs for survivors who need help coping with their loss. For more information about the services provided by funeral homes, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Cemeteries

A: A cemetery is a place where a loved one may be buried. Many people choose to have a burial plot in a cemetery because it provides a physical place for family and friends to gather in memory of a deceased love one. The most common cemetery sites are churchyard or synagogue cemeteries, municipal cemeteries, or commercial plots. If a cemetery is needed, in most cases, you will need to contact either a funeral director or a cemetery superintendent. They are the people who make all of the arrangements, such as time of burial, and will provide information on the particular policies of that cemetery. One policy that most cemeteries require to prevent the ground from settling after burial is the use of either a grave liner or a coffin. A grave liner is made up of concrete slabs that are assembled at the grave site. A coffin is a one piece unit that is usually made of concrete, metal or fiberglass. Grave liners are generally less expensive than coffins. Another item that is needed for burial in a cemetery is a marker for the grave. The style and type chosen will determine the marker’s price. As with any purchase, investigate the full range of alternatives and policies to find what is best for you or your loved one. For more information on cemeteries, contact a cemetery superintendent or our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Problems With A Cemetery Or Funeral Home

A: If a cemetery or funeral home has not lived up to your expectations, the first step should be to contact them and explain the problem. While there may be indeed a problem, experience has shown that many disagreements with cemeteries and funeral homes are in fact a difference in understanding of what was to be done. A bereaved person may be very emotional following a death and it may be difficult to communicate details about the funeral or burial. Therefore, cemeteries and funeral directors may make assumptions based on their experience without making sure that those assumptions are shared by the customer. The facility may do something different from what the customer is used to or has experienced in the past, because of the emotions surrounding a death, small differences may assume major proportions. If your contact with the funeral home or cemetery does not yield satisfactory results you may wish to contract a trade associated. They may be able to resolve a conflict or disagreement. For questions or disputes regarding cemeteries, you can call the Cemetery Consumer Service Council at 703.391.8407. For problems or questions with funeral homes, call the Funeral Services Consumer Arbitration Program at 1.800.662.7666.

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Q: Urns

A: Urns are used as a permanent container for cremated remains. They can be made from a variety of materials such as bronze, marble, porcelain, ceramic and hardwoods, and are available in many shapes and styles. The urn may be placed in a columbarium, which is a building or structure for cremated remains, where single niche spaces or family units may be selected. Niches are generally recessed compartments enclosed by either glass protecting an engraved urn or ornamental fronts upon which the names and dates are inscribed. Urns may also be buried in family lots or, in many cemeteries; there are specially designed areas for the interment of urns, called urn gardens. Urns may also be kept at the home of a survivor, in remembrance of the deceased. If the family chooses to scatter the cremated remains; the family may keep the urn in any of these places as a memorial to the deceased. For more information about urns, please contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Cemetery Services

A: Cemeteries generally provide several kinds of services, including earth burials. Cemeteries usually give you the choice of single or double occupancy of the grave, or above the ground burial in a garden or in indoor mausoleums. Many cemeteries also offer earth burial for cremated remains, often in specially designed gardens. Also available is above ground placement of cremated remains in a garden or indoor columbarium. A columbarium is a structure of vaults lined with recesses for urns. When selecting a cemetery, remember you will be entrusting it with a precious part of your heritage and dealing with it for many years. You may wish to look for well-maintained grounds and a friendly, confident, and knowledgeable staff; and a willingness to show and discuss with you a wide range of options and prices. In addition, you might want to seek recommendations from such sources as neighbors, the Better Business Bureau and other consumer groups. For more information on cemetery services, contact a cemetery or our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600..

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Q: Memorial Services & Receptions

A: The deceased or their survivors may not belong to a community that has a defined funeral service, or they may be in a situation where a traditional service would be inappropriate. In these cases, memorial services and receptions can be chosen as an alternative to traditional services. These events are less formal than traditional services. Most funeral homes will provide facilities for receptions or can assist you with arranging them. As a focal point of the service, pictures of the deceased, memorabilia from his or her life, hobby items or mementos may be brought to the place of gathering. This is a way of focusing on the life of the person being remembered. Memorial services can be held in a funeral home, church, private home, or almost any place of community gathering. Receptions, where coffee and cookies or more elaborate food is provided, may follow memorial services, or may be the principle form of the remembrance service. Receptions give family and friends an opportunity to support each other in their loss, to renew relationship bonds and to formalize new relationships which no longer include the active participation of the deceased. For more information on memorial services, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Insurance & Savings Accounts

A: Insurance and individual savings accounts are two of the several ways to prearrange financing for funeral services. A pre-arranged funeral requires a fixed, up-front fee. You can pay this fee in one lump sum, in several installments or by buying an insurance policy specifically designed to cover funeral expenses. In this case, your money is placed in a trust fund to cover your burial costs. One such fund is a TOTTEN FUND – an individual savings plan earmarked for your funeral. While you live, you control the money, which is usually invested in a certificate of deposit or a money-market account. When you die, the funds are available immediately to pay for your funeral. Another such fund is as REGULATED TRUST, in which your money is invested by a funeral home or cemetery to pay for the burial. With a regulated trust, you have no access to the money. Before you sign up for a prefunded funeral, find out whether you can get a total or partial refund if you change your mind about the packages. For example, you might want to be buried in another state if you move away. Also, learn whether your current payment protects you against future price increases for funeral and related services. Funeral insurance is another viable method of providing immediate coverage from the day of purchase, subject to severe limitations if the insured is in poor health at that time. Be aware that some agents selling funeral life insurances are not connected with funeral services firms. While they may have a lot of information about funeral service, they do not have the facilities or the obligation to provide those services at the time of need. Therefore, they may not have as much of an investment in your long-term satisfaction. For more information on financing, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Preplanning Cremation Services

A: If a person wishes to be cremated, it is recommended they have their choice for the service legally documented. By selecting the services in advance, an individual will have had a chance to research all their options and make a well thought-out decision. In addition, preplanning can take the decisions –making prices out of the hands of the family during an emotional time. Generally, the family will be bound, as a matter of state law, to follow the deceased’s wishes. When cremation is chosen, it is also recommended to inform family members of the decision. There can be differences of opinion among survivors as to the desirability of cremation. Pre-purchasing of property for cremated remains is also an option. Generally, the cremation property that is pre-purchased will not go up in price. For more information on cremation, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Selection Of The Monument

A: The selection of the monument or grave marker is an important decision because the memorial will stand as a tribute, marking the last resting place of a loved one. In making such a decision, consideration should be given to the quality and permanence of the materials used. Monument companies can provide descriptions of a wide variety of memorials that may be appropriate. Memorials may be purchased from any source, however be sure to check the cemetery’s rules and regulations to determine whether there are any restrictions on the types of memorials that may be used. Purchasers should consider the permanency of the supplier, since they may well be required at a later date to cut the death date on the stone, add a companion scroll, or perhaps supply a matching memorial. Prices vary greatly, depending on whether a stone or bronze memorial is allowed. Monuments have a wide range of prices. Bronze memorials generally are more uniform in price and size.

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Q: Cemetery Maintenance

A: When choosing a burial site, many people are concerned about the upkeep and appearance of the cemetery. Most states have laws that require funds to be set aside for the long-term care and maintenance of cemeteries. The amount to be set aside varies from state to state, but many states require 10 or 15 percent of the lot purchase price to be placed into an endowment care fund. Endowment care refers to the general maintenance of the cemetery. It includes care of the lawn, trees, and shrubs; maintenance of walks, roadways, and utilities; and costs related to administration and office facilities. It does not cover the care of memorials or monuments. Municipal and church cemeteries are often not required by state laws to provide endowment care. To ensure that money has been set aside for the upkeep of a cemetery, the terms of any sales agreement should list the percentage or dollar amount that will go into an endowment care fund. As you consider the reliability and stability of different cemeteries, you may want to check with your local Better Business Bureau. Check to see what, if any, national, state, or regional cemetery organizations the cemetery is a member of. Another good guide is the appearance of the cemetery itself. Does it seem to be well cared for and have an atmosphere suggesting sound management? For more information regarding cemetery appearance and maintenance, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: What Is A Hospice?

A: A hospice is a facility that provides special care for terminally ill patients and their families. A hospice offers social, emotional, and spiritual support as well as many services to help make the patient as comfortable as possible. A hospice strives to both preserve dignity and reduce the anxiety and high expenses that can accompany an incurable illness. A hospice is typically made up of nurses, healthcare aides, possibly a chaplain, and community volunteers. Volunteers are an integral part of the hospice team. They offer such services as shopping for groceries, reading to patients, and simply listening t those in need of a friend. They do this in an effort to offer support and to improve the quality of life for the patients and their families. Funeral homes may have resources to assist volunteers in providing emotional support to families who have lost a loved one. Most hospices are Medicare certified. If you would like more information about hospice care, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: How To Handle Grief

A: The loss of a loved one or a close friend can be one of the most difficult times we ever face. The grieving process happens over time and is an essential part of coping with a loss. Grief is first felt as a numbness and inability to accept the loss, followed by shock as the reality sets in. There may be a period of emotional distress that includes depression, despair, and anxiety. The most intense period of grief usually lasts a month or two and then begins to lessen. Grief is different for everybody and needs to be experienced in our own way. Talking with loved ones and friends about what you feel can help you through grief. Don’t hide your feelings, as this can make the grieving longer and more difficult. You may even want family or friends to take on daily tasks around the house such as cleaning and shopping… church or community support groups are often valuable because members can share similar losses and provide understanding and encouragement. Funeral homes often have resources to help those who have experiences the loss of a loved one. For more information on how to handle grief, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Cemetery Rules & Regulations

A: Every cemetery has its own set of rules and regulations to help ensure the attractiveness and order of the property. These regulations can vary widely among cemeteries, but they often include guidelines for both the burial proceedings and the grave itself. For instance, some cemeteries are specific about the times a burial can take place, who can carry the casket, and the use of tents and music. But the majority of cemetery rules involve the maintenance of the graveyard. Cemeteries, for example, can have varied rules regarding visiting hours, maintenance services, monument sizes, burial vaults, and grace decorations.

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Q: Shipping To A Foreign Country

A: Because many people choose to be returned to their native land upon their death, foreign shipping is rapidly becoming a common occurrence for funeral homes. Most countries have certain requirements to meet in order for the return of human remains to be permitted. These include some or all of the following: certified copies of the death certificate, a notarized embalmer’s or funeral director’s affidavit, a health department certification, and special casket requirements. Family members often express the desire to accompany their deceased loved one on the same flight. A funeral director can ensure that all arrangements are made to secure safe passage of your loved one to almost any destination around the world. For more information on shipping to a foreign country, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Viewing The Deceased

A: Permitting family and friends to view the body of the deceased as a visitation or wake, or during the funeral services can be a valuable experience. The most important reason for viewing the body is to help people accept the reality of the death that has occurred. An important part of the grieving process is the acceptances of loss, and viewing the body may be a cathartic way to help survivors toward acceptance, and to start the process of healthful mourning. A funeral director will discuss the option of viewing the body with the immediate family when services are being planned. The survivors may choose whether the casket is to be open or closed during the public visitation and funeral. Insisting that a person, especially a child, view the body is not recommended. Children have many questions concerning death, and it is often helpful for them to view the body and receive factual answers. However, viewing the body is a personal choice for both adults and children, and no one should be forced to do so against their will. Viewing the body can be an important part of the funeral experience. Talking with a funeral director about your thoughts and concerns can help you reach an understanding of what choice would be best for your family.

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Q: What Is Embalming?

A: Embalming is the process of sanitizing and chemically treating the body of the deceased. This process retards decomposition of the body, and restores an acceptable physical appearance. Embalming is the first step in the process of preparing the body for the viewing. Embalming is usually not required in cases of immediate burial or immediate cremation, and for some religious groups who bury within twenty-four hours of death. Most funeral homes require embalming if there is to be a public viewing, if the body is to be kept more than twenty-four hours, or if the body is to be transported across state lines. In additional to embalming, preparation of the body also includes shaving, hair dressing, make-up, dressing, and placing the body in the caskets prior to viewing and services. For more information on embalming, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Funeral Trust Accounts

A: Funeral trust accounts are supervised by state agency to ensure safety. When you establish a funeral trust account with a funeral home licensed to offer them, you may make an initial deposit in the full amount of the trust or you may make monthly deposits for two to five years. Under state law, a percent of the funds you deposit are placed in a trust account. The selling agency may retain a percent for direct selling expenses. These funds are invested in federally insured investments. Over time the interest income from the investments will increase the account to offset inflation. In fact, it is common for the trust accounts to have excess funds which are returned to the survivors at the time the services are provided. A major advantage in funeral trust accounts is that the interest earned is usually above that which would be paid on individual savings accounts. It is also generally more than the percentage increase applied to the face value of insurance policies. Thurs, trust accounts grow at a much faster rate. Funeral homes arranging trust accounts will meet with you to estimate the funds needed to provide the services you desire, and to help you establish an account to provide those funds. They will also place your plan on file so that you may change it at any time. For more information on funeral trust accounts and state specific requirements, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600..

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Q: What Is The Purpose Of A Vault Or Burial Container?

A: Many cemeteries require a burial vault to be used as a liner for a grave. A burial vault is a structure placed underground to hold the casket. These containers provide a stable base for a memorial stone and prevent the ground from sinking at the gravesite. Burial vaults are constructed from various materials including concrete, plastic, and metal. They are often lined with a material which provides additional reinforcement, and they make a permanent seal for the casket. The highest quality of liners are noncorrosive metals such as bronze, copper, or stainless steel. Like caskets, burial vaults are available in a range of models and prices. Many cemeteries prohibit the use of wooden boxes as outside containers because they deteriorate, causing the gravesite to settle and the ground to become uneven, unattractive, and hazardous. For more information about cemetery guidelines regarding burial vaults, please contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Death Benefits

A: When a loved one dies, survivors may be eligible for benefits from Social Security or the Veterans Administration. The qualifications of Social Security benefits depend on age, marital status, number of dependents, and whether the deceased contributed to Social Security. It is important to remember that the payment of Social Security benefits is not automatic; survivors must apply for benefits through the Social Security Administration. However, most funeral homes now file the needed forms for you, or will assist you in determining what benefits are available to you and how to receive them. Benefits from the Veteran’s Administration are available to any honorably discharged individual, surviving spouse, and children of the veteran. These benefits include an American flag, a grave marker, and in some cases military honors. If a veteran and spouse are buried in a national cemetery, they will also receive a grace space and the minimum outer burial container called a grave liner. For more details on death benefits, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600 for information and guidelines.

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Q: Death Away From Home

A: Because people in our society travel so frequently, it is not uncommon for death to occur away from home. In such cases survivors should contact a funeral director in the area where the funeral will take place. The director can make all the necessary arrangements and contact the appropriate individuals to ensure that everything is taken care of properly where the death occurred. The funeral director knows what services are needed and can coordinate all the details both where the death occurred and at home. This not only makes this difficult process easier, but working exclusively with one funeral director will also reduce the cost involved. Being prepared for the possibility of death away from home may involve meeting with a funeral director in your area. Their help can be invaluable in the case of this unexpected circumstance. For more information on dealing with death away from home, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600 with your questions.

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Q: Anatomical Donation

A: Many people are now choosing to donate all or part of their body to medicine. Anyone can indicate a wish to be a donor regardless of age or medical history. There are two kinds of anatomical gifts: body donation for medical research, and organ and tissue donation for transplants. Recent medical advances in organ and tissue transplantation have made it possible to consider more patients as potential donors. A desire to donate can be indicated by signing a donor card. For convenience, there is a donor card printed on the back of most drivers’ licenses. However, it is important to note that at the time of death a next of kin will have to sign a consent form. It is helpful, then, if individuals notify their families about their decision regarding donation so that their wishes be honored at the time of death. Only those organs or tissues for which permission has been obtained will be removed for transplantation. Families sometime refuse to donate a loved one’s organs out of concern that the body will not be able to be viewed or a funeral ceremony will not be possible. This is not true. When organs are removed, a funeral director can restore the body to a natural-looking state for viewing and a funeral ceremony. A local funeral director is qualified to explain and assist with these donations. For more information on anatomical donation, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Alternatives To Traditional Services

A: Today, there are many ways to organize and conduct celebrations which acknowledge that a life has been lived and that a death has occurred. Some personalized formats that are commonly used include: a service or party at a workplace, favorite park, or camping spot, or an open house at a favorite gathering place. Other formats might include a sports event, a dinner, an art show, or other events reflective of the life of the deceased and dedicated to them. At these gatherings, family members or friends may present a program of reminiscence, where they exchange favorite stories of the deceased and reflect on the contributions made by that person. An important facet of any of these alternative service events is to acknowledge the mourning process, and acknowledge the death and the loss that follows,. It is also important to encourage the expression of feelings, and speak directly about the individual life that has been lived. There are no absolute standards for an alternative service. An experienced funeral director will be willing to help you explore the alternatives which are best for your family. Contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600 for more information on alternatives to traditional funeral services.

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Q: Should Children Attend The Funeral?

A: The death of a loved one can be very confusing and bewildering experience for children. Attendance of the funeral may be helpful for a child to realize the finality of death, and also allows the child to share in the emotional experience with the family. However, you should not insist that they attend. Let the children express sorrow in their own way and do not force ideas on them, such as grieving or funeral attendance.  Talk with younger children. If they want to attend the funeral, prepare them for the experience and answer any questions they may have. Many funeral homes have brochures or helpful videos that can help provide you answers to questions children might have. For more information on whether children should attend the funeral, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Explaining Death To Children

A: Experiencing the death of a family member can be very different for younger members of the family. Young children may recover from the death of a loved one very quickly. Most children under three years of age have no concept of death and they may not fully understand the finality of death until approximately age nine.  Therefore, it is important to handle the situation carefully. Talk with the child and try to help them understand that although the deceased will no longer be with you, that death is a natural part of every day life. Let the child ask questions, and guide them through any grieving process, reassuring them in answering their questions.  A funeral home can advise you on helping your child to cope with the death of a loved one. Resources such as books and brochures are available that can help you and the child through what can be a difficult and confusing time. For more information on explaining death to children, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Funeral Homes

A: When I death occurs, most people opt to use a funeral home as a facility to guide them through their time of emotional distress. If the funeral home is needed, they will assist you in making decisions such as what type of casket, the location of the burial service, who is to conduct it, whether the body is to be embalmed, whether to have an open casket, and whether the body is to be buried or cremated. To assure that you choose a funeral home that best fits your needs, call to get price and service quotations. They are required by law to give them to you over the phone. Most funeral directors offer funerals ranging from simple to elaborate. Often, there is a flat fee that includes the coffin, preparation of the body, the filing of the death certificate and a notice in the newspaper. Be sure to ask exactly what is included, what costs extra, and what details you will need to take care of yourself. Pre-planning is an option offered by funeral homes that allows one to make arrangements for his or her own funeral before her death. This bears relatives from having to make such arrangements and a time when they are breathed. For more information on funeral homes, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Independent Funeral Homes And Costs

A: Independent funeral homes can often offer lower costs to their customers than the larger commercial chains. One reason for this is that these independent facilities are often smaller and can operate with less overhead then larger ones. Another reason for their cost savings is their flexibility. Independent funeral homes are usually family-owned and operated, and the owner is often personally involved with the various aspects of the customer services. Because of this, independent homes are able to offer very personalized services that can cater to clients needs and price range. In addition, independent funeral homes do not typically own a cemetery, so their funeral directors are qualified to offer advice on comparative costs for all the cemeteries in their area. This advantage can often result in large savings for their customers. For more information on independent funeral homes and costs, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Why Have A Funeral?

A: Commemorating the important events which occurred throughout the course of our lives is important to most of us. Christenings and baptisms, graduations from high school and college, weddings, birthday and anniversary celebrations, and funerals are all examples of important events. These events are acknowledged through some form of ritual or ceremony. Funerals, like other events in our lives, serve a valuable function by providing a time and place for commemorating and acknowledging the life of an individual who has died. Funerals confirm and reinforce the reality of death, assist in the expression of grief and feelings of loss, begin the process of re-integrating the bereaved back into the community, and convey our values and beliefs regarding the meaning of life and death. Funerals may be as unique as the individual whose life they celebrate. Funeral director can provide many suggestions and options for ensuring that a funeral, for a loved one or for yourself, truly honors and celebrate the life that was lead. For more information about funerals, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Pre-planning Funerals

A: By preplanning and filing a funeral plan with the funeral home, you provide several major courtesies for your survivors. Your family will know for sure what your wishes are, as most people discuss the plan once it’s completed. Your survivors will be bound legally to follow your wishes, unless extenuating circumstances prevent it. The funeral home or cemetery will then become your agent, ensuring that your plans are carried out. If you have set money aside to pay for services, you will have also saved your family from the financial burden of funeral expenses during an emotional time in their lives. There are dozens of separate decisions and choices to be made when death occurs. Most of these can be made in advance and kept on record at the funeral home. The funeral director can show you a complete list of services and merchandise available, as well as current pricing. You can also decide about visitation or wake plans, and how or where the funeral is to be held. Some people select their casket, vault, memorial folders, and prayer cards in advance. Each individual can decide how many decisions about their funeral they wish to make in advance. Pre-financing is also helpful in preventing inflation. Most pre-financing arrangements made with funeral homes either guarantee the final expense or make provisions for growth in the account. For more information on preplanning funerals, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Coping With Anticipated Death

A: When death as anticipated, there are a number of things that can be done in advance to ease the impact of the death on those loved ones left behind. One such thing is to discuss how that individual would like for their remains to be laid to rest and what kinds of services are preferred. With time to plan, several options can be fully researched to ensure that the loved ones needs our best met. Planning early may also aid in getting the best price for the service required. This may occur because one is investigating all options at a time that is not as emotional. Supplying family and friends of prearranged tasks may also aid in easing some of the burden and to add support to those most close. Preparing for anticipated death may be hard for those left behind, but knowing that I loved ones last wish was carried out with your help maybe the best way of coping with their death. For more information on coping with anticipated death, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Cremation Services

A: There are several preplanning decisions to consider if choosing cremation. Will there be a service for viewing the deceased before cremation? Awake or visitation hours can be arranged with the funeral home just as they are for Earth burial or entombment. Although a casket is not required for cremation, if a viewing is chosen before the cremation, a casket can be rented or one that is combustible can be purchased for the cremation.  Few crematories will except plastic or fiberglass caskets. Cremation can be considered as an end in itself, but most families feel the remains should have a final resting place that can be identified with names and dates. This is called memorialization. Many urns are available for a permanent containment of the cremated remains. The urn can be placed in a columbarium, which is a building or structure for cremated remains, or single niche spaces or family units may be purchased for burial. Many cemeteries have specially designed areas, called urn gardens, for this purpose.  Scattering the remains is also an option, and can be legally done in most areas. Some crematories have scattering gardens. These allowed the deceased wishes to be carried out, yet allow the family some form of memorialization because they are assured the site shows and will not be developed for another use at a later time. Often, the scattering gardens have the option of personal memorials. For more information on cremation, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: Cremation Service Cost

A: Because there are so many service options available with cremation, an accurate cost is not possible to make. The family has the option to select as much, or as little, as they wish with cremation. Several factors however can influence the cost of the cremation. If a wake or church service is planned before the cremation, a casket is needed. Most crematories require a rigid, combustible container and usually will not accept plastic or fiberglass. If a non-combustible casket is chosen for viewing, an alternative container would need to be purchased for the cremation, increasing the cost. However, in such situations, it is often possible to rent a casket for viewing, at about half the cost or purchasing the casket. If a wake or viewing is not chosen, and if economy and simplicity are a concern, there are many types of containers acceptable for cremation. Containers can be made from pine, plywood and pressboard. The least expensive containers are typically labeled “alternative containers”. These alternative containers are generally made of heavy cardboard and fulfill the cremator requirements. The final resting place of the remains is also a factor in the cost of cremation. There are various costs associated with the cremation process itself, including advance payment before the cremation occurs. Other costs include the purchase of an urn for permanent containment and a final resting place or the remains. A columbarium, which is a building or structure for cremated remains, is where single niche spaces or family units can be selected or burial lot may be purchased. The extent and the content of the cremation service is up to the family, and helps to determine the costs. For more information on cremation, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Q: What Is A Cremation?

A: Cremation, like burial or entombment, is an option for handling the deceased’s body. Cremation occurs when the body is placed in a cremation chamber, where through intense heat and evaporation, the body is reduced to its basic elements. These basic elements are generally referred to as cremated remains or cremains. Although the cremated remains are commonly referred to as ashes, the remains are actually bone fragments. The bone matter, which usually weighs between three to seven pounds, is then removed from the chamber and placed on a metal tray for processing. Processing removes all foreign matter from the cremation container that is generally mixed with the cremains. Then, the bone fragments are further reduced into very small fragments. The cremains are then placed in temporary containers and shipped to their destination. Most remains are sent to a local funeral home that is responsible for getting them to the deceased’s family. For more information on cremation, contact our New London, CT funeral home at 860.443.3600.

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Our Building Is Handicap Accessible
Since 1950, Impellitteri-Malia funeral home of New London, CT has been providing funeral planning services to families in Southeastern, Connecticut (CT) including:
New London CT, Waterford CT, Groton CT, East Lyme CT, Niantic CT, Old Lyme CT and the surrounding local community.